A Lost and Found Hillbilly Trail and the most important thing: we met Jesus

✅ Time: Sunday, 01- 02/06/2024
✅ Hares: Non-Stop Cock, Cemen Trader and Paddy Fag

June 1st
Point A to Point A – bus at the base of the mountain

First, I would like to thank the MMC & the hashers that took part in the first getaway since the new members took over & in particular, Cherry Ho, In & Out & No Loan 4 You who went above & beyond to make that we all had a good time! In only almost 3 weeks everything was booked, the schedule was built, shirt and logo were designed.

11:00 Am Sat, We got on the bus and headed to the Trail set in Dinh Mountain by Nonstop Cock and Cemen Trader. It was beautiful weather despite the storm that had happened the night before. 1:30 PM we circled up and welcomed some virgins to the hash, we're all excited to spend the night with these virgins, and, we also had a visitor from Australia. Minutes later, everyone was off to the trail. Most people chose walking, but some ambitious hashers still decided to run up the mountain. The trail was beautiful, shady but the only problem was that it's too hilly for us – "the Delta Civilians", many hashers needed to stop to catch their breath. Our front walkers were Piano Grande and Jay Jay who're only 6 and 8 years old, young people these days are so energetic. For the runners, they went through a diverse nature with bamboo forest, jungle, and a little river flowing down the mountains. It was sunny but in the forest, nature and breeze embraced Saigon hashers along the way.

There was an unacceptable crime that took place on this trail, even the splendid mother nature couldn't save the hares from being iced because they led us to a Beer Stop that had NO BEER. We weren't completely happy but still, the view of Ba Ria Vung Tau from The Compass Peak was stunning.

So, the run was super fun but the real tale is what happened once we headed back to the circle.
The walkers & runners had reached the base of the mountain however Paddy Fag & Cemen Trader were nowhere to be seen, & Non-stop cock being the devout husband was getting worried about where Cemen Trader was & I just happened to be there. ‘My wife is not here’ were the words by Non-Stop Cock & neither was Paddy Fag so instead of telling the GM at the bus that we were to head up back the trail to look for our missing hashers, we went without telling anyone. I know, dumb move.

We trekked up the mountain passed the trees and the bamboo forest until we reached the top whilst calling out for the Paddy Fag & Cemen Trader but to no avail, also we could not get a phone signal either until you were at the top or the bottom of the mountain. Once we reached the top of the mountain, Non-Stop Cock managed to get a mobile signal & phoned Cemen Trader who said that she was safe & was at the circle waiting for us. Both happy & annoyed Non-Stop Cock & I went back down the same mountain trail again, which took about 30 minutes too. Once we reached the bottom of the mountain, the bus was gone. I got a mobile signal & a message from the GM stating that they left for Vung Tau.

Non-Stop Cock & I both in disbelief got into his car & headed out for Vung Tau, he further mentioned that only three hashers took the correct trail back to Point A (the bus) whilst the rest of us cocked up somewhere, so in other words everyone was going to get iced for this. Not only 10 minutes out on the main road, Non-Stop Cock has an epiphany about Cemen Trader & so gives her a call, no answer. He then calls In & Out who is happy to say that Cemen Trader is not on the bus either….

Then where the hell is she? In & Out further details that Cemen Trader is at a café at the base of the mountain waiting for Non-Stop Cock, so we turn around & head back to the mountain. Non-Stop Cock phones Cemen Trader & she answers, apparently, her mobile phone had gone flat, only in the café did she get the opportunity to recharge the mobile phone & answer the call. At this point, I was wondering if there had been any Monty Python sketches like this before & there is none.

The sun had already set & is now pitch dark where we find Cemen Trader walking from the café to the car. We then drove to Vung Tau which took an hour to get there whilst all three of us were regaling with a colorful account of what happened after the Hash. Me & Cemen Trader could not stop laughing while Non-Stop Cock was focused on driving the car with a hint of a smile. We eventually reached the villa where we were welcomed & scolded at the same time by the GM & hashers. Paddy Fag said verbatim, ‘The only reason why Cemen Trader’s mobile went flat is because she couldn’t stop yapping all the way to the top of the mountain’. In & Out also mentioned that she told Cemen Trader to get on the bus to Vung Tau but declined to do so.
Well, you all know what happened on Saturday.

The next morning we woke up and had a hangover run before heading back to Saigon. Despite the heat, the scenery was stunning, we were led again by Non-stop Cock who decided to do live hares today for the runners, and for the walkers, we had our respectable Paddy Fag. The uniqueness of the trail today is not only the beautiful view of the ocean but also we got to see the biggest influencer of Vung Tau – Jesus Christ, standing high up on top of the mountain of Vung Tau. The view up there was unreal beauty, not to mention the cafe with a live band performance on our way down.

The Hash away ended with our circle by the beach, several charges were made, a haft of the crowd got iced, one name was given to Just Anneke, and from that time onward she became Itchy Pussy of Saigon Hash House Harriers.
By lunchtime, we were all on the bus back to Saigon.

We all passed out on the bus despite the karaoke show put on the whole way, it was a successful hashaway. We are excited for the next one!

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Chemically Castrated
Cherry Ho